Erie Woman Who Complains About Winter Cold and Summer Heat Left Without Friends

Shirley Coleman is being left out in the cold tonight after blowing a bunch of hot air at a post work get together. “We really didn’t have a choice.” Shirley’s co-workers said. “January’s too cold. July’s too hot. She’s never happy. It’s the same every year! You live in Erie! Get over it!” Shirley realized something was up when she found her co-workers and only friends had left the Plymouth Tavern when she was in the bathroom. As she sat there, thinking it was a joke, the sad truth dawned on her. “I think they just forgot I was in there.” She said. “I was just about to tell them how the Buffalo wings I ordered were too spicy, too. I can just tell them tomorrow.” Before Shirley exited the bar, blissfully unaware, she was spotted grabbing some popcorn to take home for her cats. “I’ll sort it out at home. Skittles likes the butter pieces, but Buttercup doesn’t. Isn’t that so ironic?” Shirley’s next closest friend, a Nigerian Prince who she’s been exchanging emails with, could not be reached for comment.

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