Lake Erie Duck Season Begins Monday; Rabbit Season, Others Argue

According to the Pennsylvania Game Commission, Duck Season along Lake Erie begins today, however mysterious signs have begun appearing stating otherwise. Presque Isle has been littered with posters declaring that Rabbit Season actually starts on Monday with the purpose of confusing hunters. “We’ve launched an investigation into the issue,” a PA Game Commissioner said. “We […]

PA Legislators To Dress Up As Competent Leaders For Halloween

The annual group Halloween costume for all PA Representatives and Senators has finally been chosen. This year, after being unable to establish a budget for the state, the group will break from reality and dress up as competent leaders. “Halloween is a time to make believe and live in a world of fantasy,” one representative […]

1,000th Gas Station Opens In Erie

Erie drivers will no longer be forced to cruise around on empty as a new GetGo opened off the Bayfront Highway, Thursday. The opening marks the 1,000th of its kind in the area and is a relief for local motorists. “I mean it’s about time there’s someplace to get gas in Erie, one driver told […]

Pennsylvania Offers Staples Coupons To School Districts To Ease Budget Woes

Pennsylvania school districts can breathe easier today knowing that their next bill at Staples will be considerably lower. After declining a loan to the Erie School District Tuesday, the state has counter offered with several 40% off coupons at the retailer to help keep costs down. “We sympathize with these districts,” one House Representative said. […]

Erie Airport Offering Flights Across Town To Boost Business

In an attempt to boost the number of visitors, the Erie “International” Airport will now offer flights across town to help circumvent 12th Street traffic. The air field is hoping to capitalize on the frustration of mistimed traffic lights and ongoing construction that are turning daily commutes into road trips. “We see a need for […]

Conneaut Lake Park Takes Out Payday Loan To Help With Debt

The financial troubles of Conneaut Lake Park are now a thing of the past as the Park’s trustees have found a solution to the property’s mounting debt. The managing group has taken out a payday loan to settle up with creditors and keep the park open. “We were really getting down to crunch time,” one […]

Argument Over Dominick’s Meatball Omelet Ends Friendship

It’s been a debate for years. Is the meatball omelet at Dominick’s in Erie delicious or disgusting? Two lifelong friends who both feel very strongly about the matter have decided to go their separate ways. “I’d try to talk sense in to him every time he ordered it,” one of the men said. “It just […]

Loose Immigration Policy Blamed For This Winter’s El Nino

Coming off Tuesday night’s Democratic debate, Republicans are going on offense. They’re citing the current administration’s loose stance on immigration as the reason for the havoc this year’s El Nino is expected to create. “It’s clear that Obama’s policies have led to more immigrants in this country,” one Erie County Republican spokesperson said. “El Nino? […]