PA Budget To Be Settled Over Game Of Rock, Paper, Scissors

The long delayed Pennsylvania Budget appears to finally be making some headway today. Governor Tom Wolf has agreed to settle each disputed issue over games of rock, paper, scissors with Republican leaders. “Through a long series of discussions, we realized that we have been acting like children about the whole process,” a release from the […]

PA Legislators To Dress Up As Competent Leaders For Halloween

The annual group Halloween costume for all PA Representatives and Senators has finally been chosen. This year, after being unable to establish a budget for the state, the group will break from reality and dress up as competent leaders. “Halloween is a time to make believe and live in a world of fantasy,” one representative […]

Pennsylvania Offers Staples Coupons To School Districts To Ease Budget Woes

Pennsylvania school districts can breathe easier today knowing that their next bill at Staples will be considerably lower. After declining a loan to the Erie School District Tuesday, the state has counter offered with several 40% off coupons at the retailer to help keep costs down. “We sympathize with these districts,” one House Representative said. […]

Pennsylvania Budget Held Up Over Unpaid Fantasy Football Dues

Breaking news this morning as the true cause of the stalemate over the Pennsylvania state budget has been discovered; unpaid fantasy football dues. An email, uncovered by our reporters, states that the league commissioner, who is a member of the House, is still waiting on dues by several members of the Senate. “How can we […]

Erie School District To Shut Down For Lesson On Economics

The Erie School District announced considering a possible shut down on Wednesday as a way to teach district students the responsibility of adhering to a strict budget. School District Superintendent Jay Badams said students who will be forced to stay home should use this as a “learning moment”. “If you run your personal expenses like […]