Sinnott Threatens To Send Teens To Bed Without Dessert

Erie Mayor Joe Sinnott is unleashing yet another tactic on Erie teens to try and curb the recent rash of violence, sending them to bed without dessert. “I’ve had it up to here.” The Mayor gestured sternly. “No dessert for any Erie teen until they can show me that they deserve it. Now get upstairs and go to sleep.” This newest strategy comes on the heels of last week’s proposal to change the curfew for anyone under seventeen years old to 10pm. In order to enforce the newest policy Erie Police will be tasked with going door to door to test for blood sugar spikes in the youth. Any parent caught giving their child a sugary treat after dinner will be literally slapped on the wrist by Sinnott himself. Multiple offenses will be met with an Indian burn. While critics say the policy is too lenient and impossible to enforce, most agree it’s a far cry better than his previous empty threat of “Turning this car around.”

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