Pennsylvania Budget Held Up Over Unpaid Fantasy Football Dues

Breaking news this morning as the true cause of the stalemate over the Pennsylvania state budget has been discovered; unpaid fantasy football dues. An email, uncovered by our reporters, states that the league commissioner, who is a member of the House, is still waiting on dues by several members of the Senate. “How can we in good faith send a draft of a budget, relying on fiscal responsibility, to a group who cannot pay 100 dollars on time,” the email queries. “We (the House) will not finalize a draft of the budget until these dues are resolved in full.” While it may seem petty to hold up an entire State’s budget over fantasy football, the response is equally as petty. A portion of it reads, “We know you changed the draft order so House members picked first. We will not pay the dues until you agree to re-draft the league or privatize liquor stores. Whichever comes first.” No members of the legislature could be reached for comment. The standoff has already threatened to close several school districts across the state, while lawmakers continue to collect salaries. This is not the first time a game has held up the legislature. A disagreement over a game of Monopoly shut down the government for five months in 1962.

Comments

  1. Robert S. Rawding, Ph.D. says

    You legislative idiots should ALL be thrown under the bus. Let’s withhold your pay for the next 10 years, while we clear all of our lottery scratch tickets. GET BACK TO WORK, you slackers. You owe us all a public apology.

  2. Dan says

    We also shouldn’t forget the major brou-ha-ha that erupted among the Philadelphia area legislators over a hotly contested Yahtzee game back in ’03. It was, and still is, a major black eye for Pennsylvania politics rivaled only by the Candyland caper of 97.

  3. Daniel says

    Hopefully this budget crisis carries over into April so I can blow my state income tax money on blackjack at the casino.

  4. says

    If Pennsylvania doesn’t have a new budget by the June 30 deadline, Gov. Tom Wolf’s administration says state workers and taxpayers will not be affected. Though getting a budget passed a few days late may not have any noticeable effects, it’s not clear what will happen if budget negotiations drag on for weeks, or even months.

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