PennDOT to Slaughter All Bald Eagles Nested Along I-79

Now that PennDOT’s tree clearing project along Interstate 79 is nearly complete, the Department can now move on to Phase Two of their project; slaughtering all Bald Eagles nested along the interstate. Recent paperwork filed with the state shows that the project’s main goal all along was to eliminate the birds, along with any other endangered species living within several feet of the road. “As a state-run entity we can take certain steps that private companies can’t.”, a spokesman for the department says. “Having those species housed there would have eventually decreased the property value dramatically as they began to replenish in the wild.” The Department will begin clearing out the animals in the Spring. Employees will patrol the woods and bludgeon the animals with several extra ‘Stop/Slow’ signs lying around storage. This is just the next in a long line of projects that have left motorists scratching their heads. “We understand some of our decisions may leave the public scratching their heads,” the representative said. “We do plan on sticking to more conventional projects after this.” The pelts will be auctioned off to fund PennDOT’s next roundabout project.

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