PA Budget To Be Settled Over Game Of Rock, Paper, Scissors

The long delayed Pennsylvania Budget appears to finally be making some headway today. Governor Tom Wolf has agreed to settle each disputed issue over games of rock, paper, scissors with Republican leaders. “Through a long series of discussions, we realized that we have been acting like children about the whole process,” a release from the Governor stated. “So, the natural way to settle the dispute is like children. No more name calling and eye rolling from across the aisle. It’s time to grow up.” The sudden realization comes after over four months of stalemate from both sides in Harrisburg. The solution isn’t new. Reaching a settlement though a childhood game actually already has precedence in Pennsylvania government. “It’s how we decide who gets to ride shotgun,” a Senator told us. “Sometimes two of us call shotgun and this is how we’ve been settling it since the 60’s. I’m surprised we didn’t think of it before.” The showdown event is scheduled for the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, but a rumored cooties outbreak may set it back until everyone can be cleared by a doctor.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *