McBride Viaduct Reclassified As ‘Historic Eyesore’

The much debated McBride Viaduct is now on the Federal Government’s radar after officially classifying it a ‘Historical Eyesore’ on Tuesday. The new name is being both praised and criticized by those trying to save the structure. “We are fighting very hard to keep this bridge standing,” one of the leaders of the grassroots campaign said. “It certainly is historic, but to call it an eyesore is very inconsiderate. It has feelings you know.” The new classification will now cause the city to have to jump through a few extra hoops to tear the structure down, given that it’s now labeled historic. However, being that it’s also labeled an eyesore Uncle Sam will now also be willing to foot the bill for the demolition as long as an excessive amount of explosives are used. “We’re going to strap fireworks on it too. Really put on a show.” said one City Hall spokesperson. In order to destroy the bridge the City will now have to prove that look of the viaduct is detrimental to the surrounding area. Supporters say it blends in with the whole ‘urban decay’ look the rest of the East side has already established.

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