Erie To Institute China’s One Child Policy

Erie’s latest measure to try and curb violent crimes is being imported from the Far East. Beginning January first, the city will institute a strict one child per couple policy for all residents. Lawmakers say the new policy, in time, will help with some of the unsupervised teens on city streets. “We’ve been studying how its worked over there for some time,” said a City Hall spokesperson. “We think that by limiting the amount of children someone can have to one, it will be easier to keep tabs on them as they grow up.” If someone has a second child while the law is in effect, a large fine will be levied against the parents. The new policy may seem harsh at first glance, but it may actually be a break for your pocketbook. “Fewer children means a smaller school system and lower school taxes,” the spokesman said. “Long term, local taxpayers will save thousands, and also avoid having their Facebook flooded by baby photos.” A reminder that the policy starts at midnight on January first, where several local drunk singles are expected to conceive their first child anyway.

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