In a strongly worded letter, set to be mailed on Wednesday, Erie Police will inform known violent offenders that they will be placed on Double Secret Probation, effective immediately, and will be warned to the furthest extent of the law if they commit any further crimes. “We’ve come to a point of no return with these criminals,” Erie Police Chief Bowers said. “They need to know that we’re actually going to start enforcing the law this time and will only tolerate this for so much longer. We’re serious this time.” The new policy is the brain child of an outside consulting group. After binge watching Law and Order for 3 weeks on Netflix the new policy was presented to Erie Police for a fee of $5,000. “It’s a fair price to pay to begin to think about maybe doing something about some things in this city,” Bowers said. The details of the new initiative say that after the known offenders receive their letter, they will then receive a follow-up Edible Arrangement just to make sure there are no hard feelings. If charged with any further crimes, recipients of the letters will be asked to re-pay the City for the cost of the fruit.
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