Erie Man Loses Life Savings Betting Against Harlem Globetrotters

The Harlem Globetrotters descend into the Erie Insurance Arena on Thursday, but recent allegations are claiming the team not only fixed games in the past, but may even be doing it currently. As one unfortunate man found out, the effects of this scandal could reach far beyond the court. “I bet against the Globetrotters every night for a year,” the now penniless man said. “I always figured ‘tonight has to be the night’ but it never was. Now if this scandal is true how do I get my money, my life, and my family back?” The evidence? Critics point to the team’s improbable and current 3,600 game win streak. The Globetrotters are billed as some of the finest athletes in the world making some of the most spectacular basketball shots you’ll ever see. Despite the athletic acumen, the odds of winning nearly 4,000 games in a row are near zero. “This type of winning streak is unlikely at best and criminal at worst,” an investigator at the Sports Statistics Bureau said. “I’ve literally watched a game where a ref spins the ball on his finger while a player ties his shoe, all while the clock is running. If that’s not collusion, you tell me what is.” The ongoing investigation will not affect Thursday’s game in Erie. This game is notable in the fact that it will debut the Washington Generals’ new starting center, Wacky Waving Armed Inflatable Tube Man.

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