Erie Mail Outsourced To North Korea For Sorting

Erie mail will soon take even longer to reach its destination after sorting is set to move from Pittsburgh to North Korea in early September. “Our mail service is the finest in the world with a 100 percent delivery rate,” said supreme leader Kim Jong-Un. “We have never lost so much as a postcard. It was only a matter of time before American mail made its way to our facility since it’s inferior to our mail and needs more help to get where it needs to go.” Erie’s postage will serve as a trial run as the United States looks into moving the entire USPS to the dictatorship. “They’ve promised not to open any mail. It was one of the terms before we made the agreement,” one postal spokesperson told us. “Even if they did, I’m not sure how many state secrets make their way through Erie, PA.” It will now take a mere two weeks to send a letter across town, a pace that could theoretically be bested by foot. A set of trial letters sent last month made it to their destinations unaltered, and showed a surprisingly high volume of pro North Korea literature circulating through the Erie area.

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