Erie Criminals Surrender Guns After Obama Executive Orders

Erie’s violent offenders lined up around the block on Thursday to surrender their illegal firearms to Erie Police after President Obama announced his executive orders on gun control. Although the President’s actions focused more on background checks, the effects are already being felt on the streets. “It was just a matter of time until we got found out,” one of the known offenders said. “We had a good run, but Obama really got through to us this time. We’ve all decided to turn in our illegal guns and try to go buy some legally.” Because of the actions of the President, violent crimes in Erie are expected to drop by nearly 80 percent. The few people in Erie still holding on to their illegal firearms are on borrowed time. “We’re keeping an eye out now,” a former illegal gun holder said. “We all turned ours in. Everyone else needs to step up and do the same.” After submitting their former firearms, the group gathered at City Hall Thursday unanimously decided that anyone caught on the street with an illegal gun was to be immediately shanked.

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