Erie Couple Mugged By Infant

Two Erie citizens are talking to police this morning after allegedly being mugged on Erie’s West side by a three month old infant. “I’ll never forget those eyes,” one of the victims said. “They were almost alien like. It was like he was staring right through me. Chilled me to the bone.” The couple stated that the child rolled up to them with a plastic baseball bat sticking out of his stroller. “He never said a word,” the victim continued. “He just made these ominous cooing sounds. I knew he wanted our wallets and phones, and that our lives were in danger.” The couple ran to call the police and by the time they arrived on scene the suspect was gone. “We did find what appeared to be spit-up on the scene and will test it for DNA,” a policeman on the scene said. “We’re seeing younger and younger ones start to commit these crimes. I’m not shocked at all.” To accommodate these younger suspects, Erie Police have begun construction on a playroom addition to their holding cell area.

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