Erie County Health Department Looks To Ban Shamrock Shakes

If the latest proposition by the Erie County Department of Health goes through, one of the sure signs of Spring will no longer be available within the County. The Department is proposing a prohibition of McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes based on a number of concerns. “First of all the calorie count on those things is astronomical,” a representative of the Department said. “Second of all, everyone in the building voted, and we decided that they’re gross. They barely taste like mint and the green color is off putting. We have to protect Erie from being able to purchase these concoctions.” This move comes on the heels of a report Tuesday that the Health Department would also look to prohibit tongue splitting and other body modification procedures by tattoo parlors within the County. Some say the government is going too far. “If I want to feel the delicious cold of a Shamrock Shake on my forked tongue every day, that’s my business,” one Erie woman said. “We’re running out of stuff to do and need to find more ways to protect Erieites from themselves,” the Heath Department rep said. “We’re tired of printing stickers to wash your hands and reminding people that the flu exists. It’s time to shake things up.” The County is also looking in to sending out text reminders to wear a coat and hat when the temperature dips below 32 degrees.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *