Entire Erie School District To Be Housed In Giant Barn

The Erie School District has leaked its preliminary plan for school consolidation and it is more drastic that initially thought. According to the leaked documents, the District will liquidate all real estate assets and begin construction on a single room barn, which will house grades K-12. “When you look at the numbers”, outgoing Superintendent Jay Badams said, “Its clearly the only way to go. Given the conditions of come of our buildings right now, this will actually be an upgrade for some students.” The plan for consolidation comes on the heels of news that millions of dollars of funding from the State would not be coming in as expected. When pressed why funds were denied to the needy Erie District, Governor Tom Wolf replied, “Where is Erie again?” According to the new plan, students will be loosely grouped by grade level, but will not be looked after, kept track of, or held to any measurable standards. “We are going to move to towards a ‘choose you own adventure’ type of curriculum,” Badams said. “Studies have shown that this type of educational environment isn’t nearly as bad as it sounds.” While that may be technically true, help is on the way as several humanitarian aid missions are already scheduled to make stops at the new facility when it’s built to help with student performance.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *