Erie School District To Shut Down For Lesson On Economics

The Erie School District announced considering a possible shut down on Wednesday as a way to teach district students the responsibility of adhering to a strict budget. School District Superintendent Jay Badams said students who will be forced to stay home should use this as a “learning moment”. “If you run your personal expenses like […]

Edinboro Council To Require Tenant DNA Samples From Landlords

Edinboro Council is out for blood Wednesday, literally. The council is now demanding landlords to collect DNA samples from all tenants before they are permitted to rent to college students. “It’s really the only way we can control that the garbage is taken out correctly,” the Borough Manager said. “College students and landlords represent the […]

Lake Erie Sunsets Test Positive For Performance Enhancing Drugs

The beauty and notoriety of an Erie sunset over the lake is now being called into question. Preliminary reports say the air quality, randomly tested during sunsets across the nation, showed a positive result for PED’s over Lake Erie sometime in late August. VisitErie released a brief statement to address the report. “We are deeply […]

Erie Man Injured As Crowd Rushes To Buy First Gallon Of Fuhrman’s Cider

The scene looked like news coverage of a Black Friday doorbuster deal. Dozens stormed Fuhrman’s Cider Mill Friday to get the first taste of the famous Apple Cider, leaving one man with sour grapes. “I’ve been camped out since 3am,” he told us, as paramedics checked his vitals. “We wanted to make sure we got […]

Strays Contract Surpasses Erie Violence as #1 Voter Issue, Poll Shows

It’s quickly becoming Erie’s ‘Deflategate’. Concern over the Erie strays contract is now ranked #1 in the minds of Erie voters, overriding escalating violence in the city. “We have no words,” said a spokesman for the company who conducted the poll. “In my 25 years of conducting these questionnaires for municipalities, I’ve never seen something […]

Erie Residents Prepare For Hibernation After Busy Labor Day Weekend

Another season is in the books for Erie. Summer in the region has officially come to a close and despite the warm weather, residents are already making plans to hibernate. Labor Day serves as the traditional ‘last hurrah’ of the season and getting ready for the cold started Tuesday. “We are stocking up on water, […]

Construction Crews Lose Blueprints For 12th Street / I-79 Overpass

The off ramps may be open, but one whistleblower is telling a different story about the ongoing construction on Erie’s west side. “It’s all a distraction,” one ex-PennDOT employee told us. “The ramps and the project all were supposed to be done months ago. We lost the blueprints and they opened the ramps because people […]