Erie Teachers Welcome Back Students After Spending Weekend In Denial

Teachers around the area are stretching their legs this morning after spending all weekend in the fetal position pretending Monday would never come. “I just thought it would last forever,” one elementary teacher told us. “You leave in June and feel like you’re free forever. I trick myself every year, but usually wean myself off […]

High Fashion Takes Center Stage At Crawford County Fair

The eyes of the fashion world shifted from Paris to Crawford County on Thursday as the Fair’s attendees donned the hottest trends from the runway. “This year it’s all about tucked in American Flag shirts and cargo shorts,” one designer told our staff. “The bold ones looking to make a statement accent Old Glory with […]

Slight Drizzle Affects Motor Skills Of Erie Drivers, Study Shows

A yearlong study culminated on Tuesday that shows a direct correlation between the smallest bit of rain and their ability to drive effectively. Yesterday’s constant mist finally gave researchers the sample size they needed to publish the results. “We’ve found that Erie drivers are unique in that the rain they absorb into the skin from […]

New Task Force To Crack Down On Large Number Of Task Forces

With the Pennsylvania budget now well over a month overdue, the effects are starting to trickle down. Unnecessary task force spending will be the first to go and in order to do that a new task force has been established to investigate. “We have a task force for everything.” one PA legislator commented Friday afternoon […]

Pumpkin Spice Hits Erie Shelves Early; Hipsters Rejoice

Pumpkin spice all of the things! Erie retail shelves are already full of the fall spice, despite temperatures in the 90’s and the ‘in’ crowd couldn’t be happier. “I’ve been buying pumpkin spice products before it really got big.” one Erie man stated from behind his unkempt beard. “We in the pumpkin spice community love […]

20 Something Surprised To Learn Of Seawolves Game Happening During Buck Night

One recent college grad was shocked, Wednesday night, to learn of a real life baseball game being played while enjoying dollar beers. “I just thought it was a great concept for a bar.” the Edinboro grad said. “I’ve been here for a bunch of buck nights and never noticed the game until tonight. I just […]