Public Service Announcement: Snow Makes Roads Slippery

As the first expected large snowfall moves towards Erie, one thing remains certain. Local drivers will forget how to drive with slick roads, despite doing it every year. We, at The Mockerie, would like to walk everyone though keeping your car on the road this weekend. “It’s a problem that we see every year,” a […]

Waterford Council Deems Proposed Traffic Light ‘Sorcery’

Plans to put in some type of traffic control at the intersection of Routes 19 and 97 have been put on hold as Waterford Council pauses to understand the technology behind it. The proposed traffic signal would help regulate thousands of cars per day, but Council is hesitant to make any drastic changes. “We already […]

End Of Erie Rainbow Leads Police To Meth Lab

Erie Police may just need to start looking towards the end of the rainbow, as Monday’s light show lead to the bust of another meth lab. Two officers began investigating after reports from neighbors of a strong scent coming from the area where the rainbow neared the ground. “Our investigation found that Monday’s rainbow was […]

Erie Criminals Call Holiday Cease Fire

Erie streets are expected to be slightly safer over the next few weeks as Erie criminals agree to holstering all firearms until the New Year. The agreement came at the December meeting of Erie’s Violent Offenders, a group dedicated to keeping the city’s gun crime within a set of tasteful rules. “We know that eliminating […]

Harborcreek Chopstix Features Actual Parking Lot For Customers

The new location of the popular Chopstix restaurant opened in Harborcreek last week and it’s most appealing feature won’t be found on the menu. This location features a real-life parking lot, to accommodate more than ten cars, in contrast to the first west side establishment. “We sat down and put a business plan together,” restaurant […]

Erie Insurance Turns Property Into Small Zoo For Employees

Erie Insurance is working on their latest expansion plans, but the new growth phase won’t be including any new offices. The newly purchased property, located at 6th and Holland, will be turned into a small zoo for employees to enjoy during their lunch breaks and downtime. “Why? Why not?” a spokesman for Erie Insurance told […]

Santa Jailed In Perry Square Pavilion

Erie government is saying “Bah, Humbug” to the holiday season as the newly completed Perry Square pavilion is doubling as a temporary holding cell for Father Christmas. Erie Police reportedly captured Santa late Sunday night and placed him in the cell, making sure he was separated from other prisoners. “It honestly pained us to do […]

Erie Bar Crawl To Benefit Alcoholics Anonymous

One local chapter of the nation’s most well-known alcoholic support group will soon get an influx of cash thanks to a hoard of drunk 20-something’s. The funds raised by Erie’s latest bar crawl will go to support Alcoholics Anonymous, and possibly recruit a few new members. “We know it sounds a little counterproductive,” the event […]